How Many Friends Is Too Many?

An item in the May 2010 Real Simple magazine had the following information:

"150. The maximum number of friends a person can keep up with, according to anthropologist Robin Dunbar. And that holds for the social-media world: Dunbar recently completed a related study confirming that no matter how many online "friends" you have, you can really have only 150 true ones."

I'll admit, my first thought when I read that was, "wow, I need to get some more friends!"

I am not on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, or any other social network. I have lots of friends that are on, and of course all four of my kids are on. They urge me occasionally to get on Facebook, but I don't want to.

I have two really good reasons for this. Number 1: I can barely keep up with the friends I have in the real world. And Number 2: I don't need to relive my high school experience by reconnecting with the people I hung out with back then.

For years there was an email that made the rounds about friends, specifically girlfriends. How many you can have, what the level of friendship really is, how they drift into and out of your life, all that kind of stuff. I used to think of friendship in three levels.

The "A" level comprised of the 1-3 friends that you absolutely can't live without. They are there for everything, no matter when or what, and are the keepers of your deepest secrets, fears, joys, dreams.

The "B" level friends are the 5-10 friends that you have contact with on a regular basis. They're in your life and you're in theirs, but not daily.

The "C" level is the friend/acquaintance level. When you're with them you have a great time, but when you're not, it's no big deal.

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but I no longer subscribe to the levels of friendship theory. I have friends.The role of each friend in my life is unique. I have one friend that is so wise, I know that she will never steer me wrong. I have a friend that I can whine to, and she'll listen for about 1 minute and then kick my butt back on track. I have friends that I rarely see, but stay in close contact with through phone calls/email. I have once-a-year Christmas card friends that I'm thankful I haven't lost touch with. I have friends that I need more than they need me, and I have friends that need me more than I need them.

I don't spend a lot of time (actually I don't spend any time) analyzing these relationships. I just enjoy them. I don't regret the lapses between our visits, I'm just grateful that we get to visit. I'm not as quick to cut a person out of my life as I was in my youth. I've learned that friendships that seem to be one-sided really aren't. Instead they're open-ended, giving each of us the freedom to bounce into and out of each other's lives as needed.

Being the analytical, list-making, obsessive person that I am, I did think of making a list of my friends to see just how many I really do have, but I didn't. And I'm not going to. I don't need to have a certain number of friends, I just need to make sure that when a new friendship comes my way, I'm ready to embrace it.

Spring Gala

Friday afternoon the Spring Gala was held at our granddaughter's daycare. I have a really cute video of it, but for some reason I can't get the video up on the blog. I never had a problem before. If any of you blog friends know what I'm doing wrong and can explain it to me in one or two-syllable words, please comment and tell me how to do it. I guess there must be a new way I don't know about.

Anyway. The Gala was held outside this time so there was much more room for the over flow crowd. The babies went first and the audience sang "You Are My Sunshine" to them.

Here's a couple of photos to show you until I can get the video posted...

A New Blog

I love politics, current events, the news; as a matter of fact, it's kind of an obsession with me. There are very few subjects that I don't have an opinion on.

Now that it's election season, I have a lot to say on the subject of politics. I just don't necessarily feel comfortable saying it on this blog. So, I started another one. A blog that will have no posts regarding my family life, only my political opinion.

It's called "The Reality Is...". I came up with that title because my friend Marti pointed out to me once that I say that phrase frequently.

You've been warned. If you're not interested in politcal, societal, cultural issues or current events, don't check out the blog. If you are interested in those subjects, check it out. I'd be interested in learning your opinion, too. You can find the link on the right hand side of this page under "My Blog List".

Earth Day

My memory may be a little foggy, after all it was 40 years ago AND it was the 70s, but I remember the poster a friend gave me for Earth Day in 1970. It was a psychedelic style rendition of the state of California. Written in all types of crazy fonts was all of the things we would miss if CA had an earthquake and fell into the ocean.

Things like: Disneyland, Jefferson Airplane, the corner of Haight/Ashbury...

The colors were garish oranges, browns, yellows. You can just imagine.

It was the coolest poster I ever saw. I hung it on the back of my bedroom door.

I have no idea what that had to do with Earth Day, but every year when it rolls around that's the picture that comes into my mind.

Finally... Animal Pancakes!

From the day our granddaughter was born, Dan has been impatiently waiting for her to be old enough to eat animal pancakes. This is a specialty of his that he used to make for our kids all the time. He uses a freestyle method and ladles pancake batter onto the griddle in the shapes of many animals. A few of his shapes include: Mickey Mouse, turtle, snake, kitty, elephant, and of course occasionally, a Christmas ornament (that's what he calls the basic round pancake!)

This past weekend, on Saturaday morning, he finally got his wish. He made animal pancakes for the baby. He made her three pancakes (I don't know WHAT he was thinking), a snake, a mickey mouse, and a turtle. She kind of ate the snake. Doesn't matter, in Dan's eyes, the tradition continues.

Way to go, Gramps!

"You expect me to eat that?!"

"Ohhh, Animal Pancakes!"

"Wait a minute, I wanted the turtle."

Sunday morning... back to cereal

Riding Brownie. She can rock him a little on her own now.

Guess which team her Papi is rooting for?!

Lakers Girl

"Grammy, if you take one more picture of me, I'm gonna scream!"

Milestones

"Meet Me in St Louis" is one of my favorite movies. My favorite line from that movie comes during the Halloween sequence. Katie, the maid, announces "Another Halloween and we're all a year older!"

That seems to be how I mark the milestones in a year these days. This morning I actually thought to myself, "Another Tax Day and we're all a year older". I had that same thought after Valentine's Day and Easter.

Time is a huge factor in my life. I have a tendency to live in the future rather than the present. I'm always looking ahead to the next event, the next birthday, the next holiday. For me, the anticipation is better than the actual event.

I had a pastor tell me once that when we get to Heaven, time will no longer be a factor for us. Wow, that really rocked my thinking! For a while I kind of worried about that. But now, I can see the rest in that thought. Time won't be a factor, that means I won't be worrying, plotting, planning for the next event, birthday, or holiday.

I will be at rest, safe and secure in the presence of the Lord.

Vacation!

I am so excited, Dan & I are trying to plan a vacation... somewhere out of Phoenix... just the two of us... for more than a weekend!

We have been on a couple of weekend trips, just the two of us earlier in our marriage, but we have never taken a week long vacation.

I'm busy making lists, mentally packing, imagining the long drive and deep conversations, calling Petsmart to see how much the Pet Hotel costs and what the rules are, and the trip is months away!

Thanks for listening, I just HAD to share.

Ten Months Old

Here's the latest official photos of my granddaughter and I as she marches through her first year of life. I meant to take a short video of her walking, but forgot. She walks everywhere, it's so cute! She seems to think that she can walk faster than she can crawl, which is a misconception. She'll be crawling along, stop, get this look on her face like "o, I could be walking!", stand up, and take off.

Boot Camp Drop-out

It's time for a confession. I am a Boot Camp drop-out.

I blogged in February about my enthusiasm to give Denise Austin's Boot Camp DVD a try. I was so excited about the possibilities. Apparently I forgot to factor in my age and general physical abilities (or lack thereof).

I started the exercises and then injured my lower back when the baby was over. I flopped down on our cold, hard tile floor too enthusiastically. I figured the high impact exercises would help it get back to normal more quickly. This was my first miscalculation.

The third week into the video, I pulled my right groin, also in response to frolicking on the floor with the baby. I didn't realize I pulled it until the next time I tried to sit cross-legged on the floor. Yeah, it hurt.

I tried to push into a 4th week of Boot Camp, but had to give up. Between all of my ailments (I'm not even going to tell you about my left shoulder), I was so discouraged and living on Advil besides.

So, I took a deep breath, dusted off my Denise Austin Fat Blasting Walk DVD and started over.

I'm two weeks into it and some of my aches and pains have subsided. I start with the 10-minute stretch routine, and then move into one of the mile walks.

The most positive thing I can say about this experience is that I can look at the Boot Camp DVD sitting on my shelf and not feel bad about myself. I gave it my best shot. I just started too soon.

My new plan is to work the walks until they're so easy that I don't notice the effort.Then I will move on to the Daily Dozen DVDs until they're effortless too. By that time, however long it takes, I will be ready for Boot Camp.

You know that "no pain, no gain" saying? It's a lie.

Baby's First Easter

Putting together an Easter Basket for an almost-ten-month-old can be challenging. I chose a stuffed egg with rabbit's ears (come on, it's unique!), a box of goldfish, a box of animal crackers, a book, and a card. As you can see from the pictures she seemed to enjoy it!

Of course, Gramps, being a cookie fiend, opened up the animal crackers and proceeded to help her eat them... getting cracker gunk on his shirt and her Easter dress. Katie was not thrilled...

Happy Easter

The Resurrection
 After the Sabbath, as the first light of the new week dawned, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to keep vigil at the tomb. Suddenly the earth reeled and rocked under their feet as God's angel came down from heaven, came right up to where they were standing. He rolled back the stone and then sat on it. Shafts of lightning blazed from him. His garments shimmered snow-white. The guards at the tomb were scared to death. They were so frightened, they couldn't move.


The angel spoke to the women: "There is nothing to fear here. I know you're looking for Jesus, the One they nailed to the cross. He is not here. He was raised, just as he said. Come and look at the place where he was placed.

"Now, get on your way quickly and tell his disciples, 'He is risen from the dead. He is going on ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there.' That's the message."
Matthew 28:1-7 The Message

Dan + Vicki = 29

Tomorrow is our 29th Wedding Anniversary. It seems like only yesterday... to both of us!

I can't remember our anniversary falling on Easter Sunday before, so I tried to look it up on the Internet. I found out that the last time Easter was on April 4th was in 1999. No wonder I can't remember it, I worked for the church then and Easter was always a very busy time. I think that was the first year we had the sunrise service out on the property in the desert at the foot of the hill. The next time Easter will be on April 4th will be in 2021 - our 40th!

The story of our romance sounds like a made-for-TV movie. But every word is true.

We met in October 1980 when Dan came to work at Dynacomp. We worked the night shift. I remember his first day at work, but I don't remember the story that he tells. He says that at dinner break that night I announced to my best friend (and the room in general) that I was ready to get married again. And his thought was "don't look at me". I'm assuming that was because there were so few males in the room for me to choose from, and NOT because he already thought (ok, knew) I was nuts. (For those of you that don't know, I was married at 17 and divorced at 21 - that's another story for another time, probably not in this blog).

The night shift crew was pretty close and hung out a lot together after work. We were supposed to get off at midnight, but this job was a "can't leave till it's done" job and many times we got off at 4 or 5 am.

Dan & I became friends at these get togethers, and, because we lived somewhat close to each other, became carpool buddies.

I announced to my parents on Christmas Day 1980 that I had met the man I was going to marry. This was before our first official date. We started dating in January, got engaged on Valentine's Day, and married on April 4th.

It wasn't love at first sight, but it was close!

We drove to Las Vegas and got married at Circus Circus. One of our favorite memories is standing in line at the Clark County Courthouse to get our marriage license. O my gosh, we saw every kind of person imaginable in that line! We had a reservation to get married at Circus Circus, but even with a reservation they took couples on a first come, first served basis. We got there on time, but our ceremony was 4 hours late. I was beginning to worry that the date on our announcements would be wrong!

I'm sure there were many skeptics that thought we would not last, having only known each other for six months.

That was 29 years ago. There have been ups and downs. But I can truly say that Dan is my best friend and that is the secret to our success so far. We really like each other. He is a great listener (good thing since I talk constantly) and I can tell him anything. I'd rather spend time with him than with anyone else.

So, tomorrow we are going to celebrate our anniversary instead of attending family Easter functions. We'll go out to eat and reminisce about our beginning, the highlights of these past years, and what we hope for our relationship before the next time our anniversary falls on Easter!

Good Friday

Along the way they came on a man from Cyrene named Simon and made him carry Jesus' cross. Arriving at Golgotha, the place they call "Skull Hill," they offered him a mild painkiller (a mixture of wine and myrrh), but when he tasted it he wouldn't drink it.

After they had finished nailing him to the cross and were waiting for him to die, they whiled away the time by throwing dice for his clothes. Above his head they had posted the criminal charge against him: this is jesus, the king of the jews. Along with him, they also crucified two criminals, one to his right, the other to his left. People passing along the road jeered, shaking their heads in mock lament: "You bragged that you could tear down the Temple and then rebuild it in three days—so show us your stuff! Save yourself! If you're really God's Son, come down from that cross!"

The high priests, along with the religion scholars and leaders, were right there mixing it up with the rest of them, having a great time poking fun at him: "He saved others—he can't save himself! King of Israel, is he? Then let him get down from that cross. We'll all become believers then! He was so sure of God—well, let him rescue his 'Son' now—if he wants him! He did claim to be God's Son, didn't he?" Even the two criminals crucified next to him joined in the mockery.

From noon to three, the whole earth was dark. Around mid-afternoon Jesus groaned out of the depths, crying loudly, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?"

Some bystanders who heard him said, "He's calling for Elijah." One of them ran and got a sponge soaked in sour wine and lifted it on a stick so he could drink. The others joked, "Don't be in such a hurry. Let's see if Elijah comes and saves him."

But Jesus, again crying out loudly, breathed his last.

At that moment, the Temple curtain was ripped in two, top to bottom. There was an earthquake, and rocks were split in pieces. What's more, tombs were opened up, and many bodies of believers asleep in their graves were raised. (After Jesus' resurrection, they left the tombs, entered the holy city, and appeared to many.)

The captain of the guard and those with him, when they saw the earthquake and everything else that was happening, were scared to death. They said, "This has to be the Son of God!"

There were also quite a few women watching from a distance, women who had followed Jesus from Galilee in order to serve him. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the Zebedee brothers.

The Tomb

Late in the afternoon a wealthy man from Arimathea, a disciple of Jesus, arrived. His name was Joseph. He went to Pilate and asked for Jesus' body. Pilate granted his request. Joseph took the body and wrapped it in clean linens, put it in his own tomb, a new tomb only recently cut into the rock, and rolled a large stone across the entrance. Then he went off. But Mary Magdalene and the other Mary stayed, sitting in plain view of the tomb.

After sundown, the high priests and Pharisees arranged a meeting with Pilate. They said, "Sir, we just remembered that that liar announced while he was still alive, 'After three days I will be raised.' We've got to get that tomb sealed until the third day. There's a good chance his disciples will come and steal the corpse and then go around saying, 'He's risen from the dead.' Then we'll be worse off than before, the final deceit surpassing the first."

Pilate told them, "You will have a guard. Go ahead and secure it the best you can." So they went out and secured the tomb, sealing the stone and posting guards.
Matthew 27:32-65 The Message

Happy Birthday, Daisy!

Today is Daisy's Official Unofficial Birthday. We adopted her in October 2005 and have no idea how old she is. When we took her to the vet for her first check-up, he told us she was probably somewhere north of 7 years old.

The next vet we took her to told us she was 10 years old or older.

That was five years ago and she's still going strong. So, I think maybe they miscalculated based on her poor condition.

We went to Petsmart one day to buy supplies for Duke, the dog we adopted in April 2005. Daisy was in the adoption pen, but I passed her by because she only had one eye. I wasn't sure how Dan would feel about a one-eyed dog.

He called me over to her and commented that she was just what I wanted and why wasn't I considering her? So, we went in and held her, heard her story, and decided to take a chance.

The story was that she had been found in a field and turned in to the Humane Society with a badly infected eye. So they removed it.

As I was filling out the paperwork, a lady handing out dog treats came by. She paused at Daisy and began to give her commands. "Sit". Daisy sat. "Dance". Daisy danced. "Roll over, speak, beg, shake". Daisy responded to all commands correctly. We were thrilled!

Daisy came home with us that day... one-eyed, very overweight, recovering from the spay surgery, but a very sweet little dog. Obviously abused, she yelped every time we touched her for months. It broke our hearts. She settled into our household, and today she rules the roost.