Being flexible is one of my worst subjects. I don't mean being flexible in my body, although I suck at that too, I mean being flexible in how I live my life.
I have a tendency to over-analyze, over-plan, over-think EVERYTHING. I make a list for each day the night before. I make a monthly menu which hangs on my fridge. I make grocery lists, lists of the clothes/shoes we need to purchase for each new season, lists of anything and everything you can think of.
This all probably stems from my issues with perfectionism.
Of course, God, knowing that I have this flexibility issue, likes to throw me for a loop every once in a while.
Yesterday was one of those days. Katie phoned at around 6:20 am and said she felt funny. She had been walking on the treadmill and was having some cramps and pressure. Dan had to be at work at 7:00 am so I offered to take him to work and swing by her house to pick up Sunny. She called her Dr. and received instructions for laying on her side, etc. I picked up Sunny and brought her home.
I was so discombobulated that, after giving Sunny her breakfast, I couldn't get a handle on my day. I looked at my list, but the words were meaningless. I checked in with Katie a few times and then finally got my head together and decided to tackle the errands that were on my Wednesday list. (Yes, I already have partial lists going for the days to come).
We jumped in the car and headed for Hobby Lobby and Costco before swinging by to pick up Dan and head for lunch at Chick-fil-a (which I've never eaten at before!)
I have to say that I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Life threw me a curve, but I managed to regroup. I'm thinking that shows real progress...
(By the way, Katie rested all day and the cramps calmed down some. She will see her Dr. this week)
Showing posts with label perfectionism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perfectionism. Show all posts
5.10.2011
11.28.2010
It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect
You may have figured out by now that when I do an essay on perfectionism I’m really preaching to myself. I tend to be a perfectionist and I am way to analytical. On just about everything. It is something that I am aware of and I try each and every day to let go of some perfectionist tendency in my character. That counts for something, doesn’t it?
Today I’m writing about the annual Christmas Letter. First let me say that I love to read Christmas letters from everyone else. I find them to be humorous, informative, entertaining, and fascinating. I’m amazed at all the different styles people come up to write their letters in. Some of my past favorites have been the ABC style; this is where the author writes each line of the letter in alphabetical style. Very clever. Another favorite is the month-by-month style. This method has the author writing about each month of the previous year. One friend employs the newspaper style. Her husband writes it and it looks like a mini-newspaper, complete with captions, photos, and quotes pulled out of each item. It is so good!
I use the simple style. I write two-four sentences on each kid and include photos. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It should be easy. But I, of course, have to make it difficult because each and every year I agonize over the photos. Specifically I agonize over the lack of a great group shot of all of us. Together at one time. Looking like welove like each other. I procrastinate about writing my letter just because of the lack of that special photo.
I started whining about it this morning. I don’t have a good picture. What am I going to use for a group shot? Why can’t everybody be together at least once a year so I can get a good picture? My letter’s going to be ruined. Then I realized, I don’t judge everyone else’s letters like that. I just enjoy them. Maybe, just maybe, that’s how people feel about my letter. Either that, or they just throw it away without reading it so what difference does it make if the photo is perfect or not.
Relief. I am going to write my Christmas letter today or tomorrow. Stuff it in the envelopes that are already signed and addressed. Mail my Christmas cards by the end of the week. Then I’m going to write myself a note for next year reminding myself that the photo doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to reflect the joy I derive from my family.
(By the way, if you would like to be included on my Christmas card list so you can read my simple Christmas letter, send me your address and I'll add you. Seriously, I will. I love to send Christmas cards!)
Today I’m writing about the annual Christmas Letter. First let me say that I love to read Christmas letters from everyone else. I find them to be humorous, informative, entertaining, and fascinating. I’m amazed at all the different styles people come up to write their letters in. Some of my past favorites have been the ABC style; this is where the author writes each line of the letter in alphabetical style. Very clever. Another favorite is the month-by-month style. This method has the author writing about each month of the previous year. One friend employs the newspaper style. Her husband writes it and it looks like a mini-newspaper, complete with captions, photos, and quotes pulled out of each item. It is so good!
I use the simple style. I write two-four sentences on each kid and include photos. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It should be easy. But I, of course, have to make it difficult because each and every year I agonize over the photos. Specifically I agonize over the lack of a great group shot of all of us. Together at one time. Looking like we
I started whining about it this morning. I don’t have a good picture. What am I going to use for a group shot? Why can’t everybody be together at least once a year so I can get a good picture? My letter’s going to be ruined. Then I realized, I don’t judge everyone else’s letters like that. I just enjoy them. Maybe, just maybe, that’s how people feel about my letter. Either that, or they just throw it away without reading it so what difference does it make if the photo is perfect or not.
Relief. I am going to write my Christmas letter today or tomorrow. Stuff it in the envelopes that are already signed and addressed. Mail my Christmas cards by the end of the week. Then I’m going to write myself a note for next year reminding myself that the photo doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to reflect the joy I derive from my family.
(By the way, if you would like to be included on my Christmas card list so you can read my simple Christmas letter, send me your address and I'll add you. Seriously, I will. I love to send Christmas cards!)
10.18.2010
Let Go of Perfectionism
I was working on my personal system for a stress-free Christmas before I found FlyLady (Marla Cilley). Although I had my system pretty much in place, I did find a lot of encouragement and some new ideas from her. This weekend she sent out an email getting the "flybabies" ready to start her system of "Cruising Through the Holidays". This year "Cruise Through the Holidays" begins today, October 18. The scenario is for you to pretend you're leaving on a cruise December 1 and to have all of your holiday tasks completed by then. She has a great way of leading us to face our perfectionism and realize how it ruins our holidays year after year. I'm reprinting her email below and I will start putting her Holiday Cruise Missions on my Christmas Corner page everyday. Yes, they are repetitive. But that's because we rarely complete them the first time around. As always, if you have a tried and true method of handling the holidays stress-free, please leave me a comment. I'd love to share your wisdom...
Let go of your perfectionism!
If I can talk you into letting go of your perfectionism then you can cruise through the holidays without all the stress that being a perfectionist puts on you!
I know you are looking for that perfect picture post card feeling, but let's face it! That only happens in paintings or in the movies. I want you to allow yourself the freedom to celebrate the holiday without this undue stress.
Let's look at how your perfectionism ruins your holidays!!!
1. You procrastinate till the last minute to do anything because you just don't seem to have enough time to do it right or you don't think you do! Then it really isn't done to suit you are anyone else because it is just thrown together willie nilly! I DON'T HAVE TIME! This phrase is whiny!
2. Shopping is put off till the last minute because we have not planned our purchases and then we hit the malls looking for anything and spending what ever to get something to give. You settle because of that phrase again. I DON'T HAVE TIME!! Yes you do if you started a few weeks ago!
3. Do you see a pattern here; waiting till the last minute? Do you know the meaning of the word Deadline? It is the point at which you have no more time. In other words; you practically kill yourself doing it, when a little each day would have helped you process things without the stress. NOW YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME! But watch you put on your super woman costume and kill yourself along with the rest of the family trying to save face! This is what makes the holidays miserable!
4. Because you have waited till the last minute again to purchase items; you are faced with a marathon wrapping session. No one likes to do this and it is hard on your back. Be kind to you and do a little at a time as you come in the door. If you hear yourself say, "I DON'T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW! Then just do one little package!
5. Now let's look at decorating your home. You hear your children begging to do things and then these words come out of your mouth!! I DON'T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW!!! They are usually said in an unkind tone because you are mad at yourself over this procrastination pressure. Do you want to know why you don't think you have time? It is because of your perfectionism! You don't think you have time to do it right! Decorating your home does not have to be done all at once. Break it down into smaller pieces; take babysteps to decorate your home and enjoy establishing new traditions.
When you hear those nasty words come out of your mouth: I DON'T HAVE TIME!!! I want you to set your timer for 15 minutes and do something! You do have time! We all have the same amount of time in a day and it is how we choose to use it that makes the difference. When your perfectionism clouds your thinking you forget to do just a little to make things better.
Holidays celebrated incorrectly still blesses your family! Let go of your perfectionism and the whiny excuse of I DON'T HAVE TIME and enjoy this year.
Are you ready to Cruise through the Holidays?
FlyLady
Let go of your perfectionism!
If I can talk you into letting go of your perfectionism then you can cruise through the holidays without all the stress that being a perfectionist puts on you!
I know you are looking for that perfect picture post card feeling, but let's face it! That only happens in paintings or in the movies. I want you to allow yourself the freedom to celebrate the holiday without this undue stress.
Let's look at how your perfectionism ruins your holidays!!!
1. You procrastinate till the last minute to do anything because you just don't seem to have enough time to do it right or you don't think you do! Then it really isn't done to suit you are anyone else because it is just thrown together willie nilly! I DON'T HAVE TIME! This phrase is whiny!
2. Shopping is put off till the last minute because we have not planned our purchases and then we hit the malls looking for anything and spending what ever to get something to give. You settle because of that phrase again. I DON'T HAVE TIME!! Yes you do if you started a few weeks ago!
3. Do you see a pattern here; waiting till the last minute? Do you know the meaning of the word Deadline? It is the point at which you have no more time. In other words; you practically kill yourself doing it, when a little each day would have helped you process things without the stress. NOW YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME! But watch you put on your super woman costume and kill yourself along with the rest of the family trying to save face! This is what makes the holidays miserable!
4. Because you have waited till the last minute again to purchase items; you are faced with a marathon wrapping session. No one likes to do this and it is hard on your back. Be kind to you and do a little at a time as you come in the door. If you hear yourself say, "I DON'T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW! Then just do one little package!
5. Now let's look at decorating your home. You hear your children begging to do things and then these words come out of your mouth!! I DON'T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW!!! They are usually said in an unkind tone because you are mad at yourself over this procrastination pressure. Do you want to know why you don't think you have time? It is because of your perfectionism! You don't think you have time to do it right! Decorating your home does not have to be done all at once. Break it down into smaller pieces; take babysteps to decorate your home and enjoy establishing new traditions.
When you hear those nasty words come out of your mouth: I DON'T HAVE TIME!!! I want you to set your timer for 15 minutes and do something! You do have time! We all have the same amount of time in a day and it is how we choose to use it that makes the difference. When your perfectionism clouds your thinking you forget to do just a little to make things better.
Holidays celebrated incorrectly still blesses your family! Let go of your perfectionism and the whiny excuse of I DON'T HAVE TIME and enjoy this year.
Are you ready to Cruise through the Holidays?
FlyLady
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